peace be upon you. well literally this is nothing just a place where i can write it out anything. so , i am less expecting myself to be committed in this but also im looking forward in gaining something beneficial from this. so yeah. and this is when my mind goes wild.
" I am not like them" And suddenly tears rolled down the cheeks as I was riding the motorcycle back home. You know, sometimes it did happen to me that there some whispers saying that " you're not good enough for this" " she is more better than you" " she has what you don't have" " " she is like this , you are not like this" " that's why everyone likes her because this character she has" and so many more until all those creepy sayings eventually ate me. deep down inside me, I always feel that I am never able to do this very big thing. this amanah is really something not for play around thingy. somehow, I am saying to myself that, you're not the one who makes you capable of this, but Allah did. And now currently I am jobless and i am drowning by not having enough financial to support my daily expenses and and monthly commited cost , ie house rental , MARA loan , Takaful. And i have so ...
When you start questioning things, When you stuck in what youve been asking, When you have a thin line between give up and be strong, When you dont undertand why me the one need to giving, When you dont undertand why that people dont belong with me? When you start thinking am i a failure to people? When you think you started to losing yourself? When you overthinking between asking help and being independent? No end to my thoughts. I need a way out. Oh Allah, i need help.
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